From the Beginning
by basketballbunnie
Summary: "Only the loneliest are the kindest," Fuji murmurs softly, almost to himself, but that is when Saeki begins to notice. SaekiOC, TezukaFuji


Your first memory involves both of them.

You can't imagine a time when it wasn't Fuji, Saeki, Michi. Your mothers loved to huddle together on weekends, bringing their little babies along and watching the three of you squirm together.

That was when you still had a family.

Your father leaves when you're still in the first few years of grade school. It wasn't sudden –privately you think Saeki-kaa-san and Fuji-kaa-san knew it was coming – so when your mother and father sit you down and explain that they weren't going to live together because of something called a 'divorce', you tilt your head and nod.

"Will I still see daddy?" you ask.

Your dad smiles (a very polite, professional smile that you think he gives to all his patients in the hospital) and ruffles your hair. "Of course."

Which is totally false, but you hadn't understood the fact that people lied, so you sent him out the door with a few sniffles, hoping he'd be back for the weekend.

He wasn't.

Your mother still has a job, of course, so on normal days you would walk home with Fuji and Saeki, shuffle into your little house just three houses away from the Fuji residence, and find your dinner premade with a small post-it to warm it up later. You had gotten rather used to it – not a lot of fussing because you knew your mother was very sensitive – but you did still miss the large dinners your family would host and invite the Saeki and Fuji families.

You didn't realize how alone you were until Saeki and Fuji came over one day.

It was actually for a project, so you invite them into your humble residence, remembering to pull out a packet of cookies for snacks. They sit on your floor and pull out their books and other materials. You aren't very productive, because really – its three little kids in an empty house – and dinner time rolls along rather quickly.

"Where's Michi-kaa-san?" Fuji asks, smiling as he takes a treat.

"Work," you reply, in that important voice your mother taught you.

"Aren't you lonely?" Saeki asks, busy munching on whatever he could get his hands on.

You tilt your head. "Lonely?" The word sounds so strange, and you didn't really know what it meant.

"Without Michi-kaa-san," Fuji adds, trying to think about a time his mother or sister weren't in the house.

Your mouth twists a little as you think. _Am I lonely? _"I'm not lonely," you declare, sounding a lot braver than you felt. "I'm a big girl now!"

Saeki doubles over in laughter, and you burst out laughing as well. Fuji smiles, but even at his young age, you think he sees the flicker of loneliness inside your eyes and hears the uncertain waver in your voice.

That night, you sit in the large, empty house, and ponder the meaning of loneliness.

* * *

When he knocks on his Nee-san's door, she turns her attention from painting her nails to catch his eyes.

"Yes, Syuusuke?" she smiles and invites him in.

Fuji pauses, shifting his little eight-year-old feet. "Are you busy, Nee-san?"

His sister giggles and shakes her head, so he stumbles into her room and sits on the offered spot on the bed.

He pauses for a moment and doesn't know where to start. His sister caps her nail polish and turns her full attention to him.

"Does Lita-chan feel lonely?" he asks.

His sister blinks for a moment and asks him where he would get that idea. He doesn't really know how to answer, so he sits there, wondering how his Nee-san could possibly find another one of her ingenious solutions to this problem.

She listens to him, just like she always does, as he goes on to explain how he couldn't possibly imagine a world where Nee-san and Kaa-san weren't always in the house, fussing over him and Yuuta. He couldn't even imagine what life had been like without Yuuta, because who else would he get to drag to the Chiba ponds in the summer days?

She looks very thoughtful for a moment. He looks at her, waiting for her to say the magic words that could solve anything, and she finally smiles.

"Why don't we invite Lita-chan to have dinner with us?"

She doesn't mention a time, but he's too excited to have you come over for dinner that he nods enthusiastically and bounces out of the room, ready to dash to your house. His sister giggles before following him out, heading towards the kitchen to find their mother.

He notices, as he slips on his shoes to run over, a hushed discussion in the kitchen between his sister and mother. He doesn't think too much of it – they've plotted worse things before, and would probably continue to scheme against him and his brother – so he closes the door with a polite "I'm leaving!" and runs into the street.

He rings the doorbell exactly three times – in a special secret code jingle that lets you know it's him or Saeki since you're not allowed to open the door to strangers. You peek out curiously, but turn very excited when you hear the news.

"Yes!" you bounce, giggling. "Is Fuji-kaa-san making fish today?"

He smiles. "It's your favorite!" he chirps, and has to remind you to lock the large door before you leave.

He catches a glance at the wrapped dinner plate on your counter with the same pink highlighted note, and feels a little mad at himself that he never knew you had been stuck with cold dinners for the last few months.

The feeling disappears when you're happily welcomed into the house and ushered into the living room to play with Yuuta and Syuusuke while his mother and sister prepares dinner. He sees his sister on the phone – most likely with your mother to tell her where you were – and she catches his eye and smiles at him.

"No, Michi-kaa-san, there's no need to thank us. We'd love to have Lita-chan here for dinner any day. In fact, why doesn't she come here for dinner on the weekdays?"

There is a pause, and he thinks his jaw might have dropped. His Nee-san is still looking at him, but she's listening to the phone.

"I assure you there is no trouble for us … no, thank _you_, Michi-kaa-san. Have a nice day."

When she hangs up, she walks by him and ruffles his hair and shuts his mouth with her finger.

"Play nice, Syuusuke," she winks, and hops back into the kitchen to help out.

* * *

It is really late, says the clock on the side of the room, and you stifle a yawn before turning back to your homework.

"Tired?" Fuji murmurs and closes his math textbook.

You nod, slowly writing out the last few lines of your calculations. "'m gonna head on home," you mutter, rising from the table. You stretch and are just about to grab your backpack when Fuji-kaa-san knocks and enters the room with a futon.

"Oh," she looks at you. "I thought you were going to sleep over," she smiles. "It's Friday, why don't you just stay the night and head over tomorrow?"

You blink and look at Fuji, who smiles and shrugs. It's not too unusual for you to sleep over, but this was the first time since your father left, and you were starting to feel rather lonely in your large house.

"I don't mind," Fuji drags his table to the side so the futon can fit in the room.

You grin and thank his mother, who beams at you before she leaves the room. He lets you take the shower first since you're the guest, and when he comes back later, you're already asleep. Fuji turns off the lights and gets into his own bed and falls asleep to the steady sound of you breathing.

He's a light sleeper, but he was still surprised when he jerks awake in the middle of the night – three a.m. says his alarm clock – to you sobbing.

"Lita-chan?" he mumbles, and he sees your silhouette freeze.

"Sorry!" you whisper, and you crawl back under the covers. "Didn't mean to wake you up."

"Are you crying?" he rubs the sleep from his eyes.

"No," you reply, rather blatantly lying.

He blinks and tries again. "_Why_ are you crying?"

You stay silent, so he rolls out of bed and pokes you through the covers of your futon.

"Lita-chan?"

"Will you keep it a secret?" you ask, voice mumbled by the blankets.

"Mhm," he answers, rather solemn.

"I miss my daddy," you mumble, feeling rather stupid.

He pokes you again, and you pull the covers down about to yell at him for poking you again, but you see his crystal blue eyes reflecting the moonlight and simply hug him and cry.

"You know I'll always be here, right?" he whispers.

"You won't leave?" you ask, a bit hopeful.

"No. I won't."

It's as much of a promise as a third-grader could make.

* * *

You are good with little kids.

Saeki wants to say it's because of Yuuta, because when Yuuta used to be bullied, the jobs were split pretty evenly. He and Syuusuke would go beat up the bully, and you would keep Yuuta from bawling loud enough for the next town to hear.

It didn't matter that Yuuta was now in fourth grade and still too skinny and angular to not be awkward. When Yuuta cried and Yumiko-nee-san was out of the house, you were the only person that could make him stop.

Saeki watched once, plugging his ears and trying very hard with his fifth-grade-maturity to not run under the bed and block it all out. He sees you poke the bruise on Yuuta's knees and sees the very clear wince that passes Yuuta's face. The younger boy bites his lip and muffles a crying noise but it's pretty obvious he's going to start soon.

"You can cry, you know," Saeki hears you whisper. He hides around the corner and pretends to wait for the bathroom. "I won't tell anyone."

He wonders if that's what Yuuta really needed to hear, because no matter how much prodding and comforting he and Fuji can offer, it would only make the younger brother scowl further.

Suddenly, he hears the muffled crying sounds around the corner. He waits for Yuuta to start loudly bawling, but it never comes. Instead, when he peeks around the corner hesitantly, Yuuta is in your arms and you're crying too, and the two of you just sit there until Yuuta stops.

"Did it stop hurting?" you murmur when he finally stops.

Yuuta nods silently.

"Good," you hastily wipe away your own tears.

Saeki watches, a little fascinated and a bit confused, because he wasn't exactly all that good at comforting himself. When Fuji comes out of the bathroom, he blinks a few times at Saeki (still spying discretely around the corner), before peering around himself.

Saeki watches his friend frown. "What's wrong?" he asks quietly.

Fuji's eyes open and he continues to stare. "Only the loneliest are the kindest," he murmurs softly, almost to himself, but that is when Saeki begins to notice.

* * *

Fuji feels the pit turn in his stomach when he hears the news. _Tokyo_, he muses silently, feeling ironic and stupid and terrible, _isn't that where her father is?_

Outward, he smiles thinly and replies. "Kaa-san, Tokyo is far from Chiba."

His mother looks at him for a brief moment. "Yes, it is," she sighs. "Your father got a promotion."

"I don't wanna go!" Yuuta is shouting, and it sounds like a tantrum. Fuji decides it's best he not throw another way alongside his brother. His mother looks him over critically, but decides his younger brother needs tending to first.

Instead, his Nee-san steps in. She asks the rational questions, like when they're leaving, if anyone else knew, who she should tell, and goes about contacting her boss and friends about the move.

Fuji squirms in his seat and feels too weak or dizzy to stand up. However, the next day, when he tells you and Saeki the news – he's moving in two weeks and won't be attending Rokkaku Chuu as planned – he knows you take it a lot worse.

"Oh," you mutter softly, blinking.

Saeki is at your side quickly, and Fuji assumes it was the look that passed through your eyes that ticked something off. Saeki was getting good at picking those signs up, he muses.

Saeki runs a hand through his hair. "God, Fuji, we're going to miss you."

Fuji manages a grim smile. "Me too."

He stares at you, and you only manage a weak smile for him. Feeling his hands clench and unclench, he knows there isn't much that he can do.

"Kaa-san said she'll buy me a cellphone," he continues.

"And we'll visit you!" Saeki offers.

"And lots of calls and emails," you add, feeling your voice waver.

The three of you stare at each other and sit there on the porch for the rest of the summer day.

* * *

You still wake up crying at night sometimes. You're much quieter now, because you're never sure when your mother is home from work, but since your sleepover at Fuji's, it's gotten a lot better.

Until he moves.

You tell yourself you won't cry, but when he tells you the news, you see a flash of your father leaving the house and the world turns a little hazy. Saeki is at your side immediately and his hand clenches on your arm.

That night, you wake up crying again.

When Fuji actually leaves, you don't trust yourself to say very much. You try your hardest to smile, and you give him a big, tight hug, trying not to think that you'll never see him again.

Tokyo is where everyone disappears in.

"Take care of yourself," Fuji murmurs in your ear, and you nod.

You hug Yuuta too, because the poor boy was scowling and you knew he must have thrown multiple tantrums about them moving. Yumiko-nee-san gives you a hug as well, and promises that you can come visit them any time at their new house.

When they leave, you're clenching Saeki's hand so tightly you're surprised he hasn't jerked it away.

"You can cry now," you hear him say, and turn to him, surprised.

He's not facing you, but he squeezes your hand and rummages through his backpack. When he finds his towel, he tosses it over your head.

"I won't look," he promises, and continues to keep his head facing the other side. "And I won't tell Fuji."

A warm sense of gratefulness washes over you, and you feel the tears stream into his small towel. You know he's trying to give you a little bit of privacy, so you hastily wipe your tears and try to make them stop. You also feel a little guilty when you're the only one crying, because Saeki lost his best friend as well.

"Thanks Sae," you mutter after a few minutes. "You're good at comforting people."

You hear his short chuckle. "I learn from the best."

* * *

His eyes like to drift towards you.

During your first year of middle school, you are in his class again. The two of you have separate friend groups – you have your student council friends and he has his tennis freshmen – but you still remain rather close.

His sharp eyes let him catch your movements – the small, forced smile you give people after a sleepless night, or the occasional flinch you make when anyone reaches too close to you.

It's not Fuji's fault, he knows. It's not even your father's fault. It's simply just that you had lost your family – twice – and he knew you were just trying not to lose another.

He makes it a point to walk home with you whenever tennis ends around the same time as student council. Sometimes you take detours, because hills need to be laid down on and ponds need to be splashed through.

Slowly, but surely, some of the dreariness and sadness melts away, and he thinks he rather likes listening to your laugh as he utterly fails with his math homework.

"You must be going out," people tease them, and they both deny it.

* * *

Saeki was always popular. You, as a girl, knew this of course. He was the gossip of your class.

"Michi-chan! Does Saeki-san like anyone?" girls would ask you all the time, and you would smile and shrug.

You're surprised he doesn't actually get any confessions until the first Valentines Day of middle school. It's by a girl from another class, and your jealous friends are peering through the window, attempting to scorch her to smithereens through very intense glares.

"He agreed to go out with her!" someone declares, and you roll your eyes and giggle.

"Doesn't that bother you, Lita-chan?" your friend tilts her head and turns to you.

You blink. "No? Why?"

Your friends share a look. "Well, we thought you were going out…"

You reassure them that the two of you are very much single, and you see a wave of relief pass through them.

Saeki dates a lot of people. It's not that he's anything like that playboy at Hyotei, but he gets his fair share of confessions and breakups. You don't really keep track of them, although once in a while you get introduced to one of them, and you smile and be as polite as you can.

Your friends tell you that Saeki dating someone meant that your monthly adventures to Tokyo with him to find Fuji would decrease, but they don't. You still spend as much time with Saeki as you did before he went on this dating spree, and you still drag him up to your favorite hill on weekends and sometimes sit out on the beach with the waves when it's not too cold.

After you get a cellphone, you and Fuji exchange quite a few messages and stay in touch. You tell him how popular Saeki is, and you can see him smiling, amused, when he replies 'well, I always knew he was attractive.'

You roll your eyes and tell him to keep his eyes on Tezuka.

* * *

Fuji visits about once a month, between Saturday tennis practices and Sunday evening dinners. You have sleepovers at your house because it is the largest, and discuss some of the most random things while playing video games.

He notices, after you've successfully blasted Saeki out of second place with a few red turtle shells, that you no longer flinch when Saeki attempts to headlock you.

"Keep your eyes on the game, Fuji!" you growl, trying to randomly mash buttons in hopes you'll overtake his first-place position.

He smiles and dodges the very obvious banana peel in front of him. "You can tell me that after you win."

He also notices the little things: the way Saeki ruffled your hair when you pouted, or the way you leaned on him after a short dinner/dessert break. It's nothing too intimate, but he knows you wouldn't let anyone else touch you like that.

He hums, rather amused, as he helps Saeki pull out the sleeping bags while you clean up. Saeki gives him a strange look –'are you laughing at me?' – but Fuji simply smiles and continues working.

The three of you discuss life – in Tokyo and in Chiba – in hushed whispers into the night.

He's still a little bit worried about how well you sleep – that incident in third grade hadn't left his mind, and sometimes he still gets your calls in the early morning when you're particularly scared – so he just lays there for a while listening to the two of you sleep.

He does hear you jerk awake – he frowns in worry and gets up to comfort you – but before he can move, Saeki is already there, bringing your head onto his shoulder and whispering comforting things.

Fuji smiles against the warm blanket and pretends to be asleep, satisfied in knowing he's made the right decision to leave you in Saeki's care.

* * *

Saeki sees you on the swings, back towards him while you chat with the elementary school children. You may be a third-year now, but you still haven't forgotten your childhood days in that playground.

Fuji had been sent off to the train station earlier, insisting he could find his own way back to Tokyo (not that he hadn't a few million times already), so Saeki had decided to seek you out. Last night did somewhat still bother him, mainly because he had woken up, surprised, when he felt your movement. He had reacted purely on reflex, fearing that you would wake up Fuji as well and concerned about what had prompted you to jerk awake.

He cleared his throat to get your attention.

You turn around, still smiling. "Sae?"

He catches a glance of the little boy in front of you – so small he was probably in his first few years of grade school. He's holding a very small, white flower, and looking positively embarrassed.

"I'm being confessed to," you tell him in hushed tones, but he can't bring himself to smile and tease the little Tako-kun.

Your eyes, wide with fear and vulnerability, still rang in his head.

You frown when he continues to stare at you, and take the offered flower politely. Saeki watches you pat the kid's head twice and thank him. He nods and hobbles off to join the rest of the children.

"How long?" he asks, a bit hoarsely.

You tilt your head, eyes dimming when you realize he's not as amused as you are.

"How long has … has last night been going on?" he rephrases, eyes still locked on yours.

He sees the uncertainty and vulnerability flash through your eyes again. You tell him it's been a few years – since second-grade or third-grade – and that it isn't something that's too severe.

"It's not every night," you reassure him. "Just bad dreams, that's all."

He sighs and circles around to face you, kneeling so his face as at your level. "Does Fuji know?"

You avoid his eyes and nod, telling him about how Fuji found out in third grade. He feels his stomach knot and guilt squirms inside of him. How could he not notice the signs? There were days when you showed up in school looking terribly tired, but he had just thought …

"Hey, Sae," he turns to you again when you call him. He sees guilt in your eyes and feels a bit worse. "I'm sorry for making you worried. I'm fine," you give him a nice smile.

_But you aren't!_ He wants to yell and shake your shoulders. _How can you be fine when you cry by yourself at night? When you've lost two families? _He feels his hands clench. _When I'm not as telepathic as Fuji?_

Instead, he gives a crooked smile and knocks his head against yours. "I worry about you, yeah? You can come to me if you need anything."

He swallows and sees you smile when he doesn't push the subject. "Thank you," you murmur.

He grins back and ruffles your hair, but the nagging feeling doesn't disappear. That night, he sits on the same swing set and wonders how many walls you've had to built up throughout the years.

* * *

You knew your relationship to Saeki was awfully close for just best friends. You don't mind, and you know Saeki doesn't mind, because you are simply two childhood friends who understood each other better than anyone else.

You also knew it would get you into trouble one day.

It does.

Her name is Nori. You don't really know her last name, because everyone calls her Nori-chan, and you've always thought she was a mildly interesting underclassman and very much in the crowd of people who wanted to date Saeki.

And she got her turn. You were introduced to her once, when you accidentally run into them on the way to grocery shopping. She spends a lot of time watching you, and you think she might share some of Fuji's ability to read people.

Before you leave, she gives you a very chilling smile and sweetly mentions it was nice to finally meet you. You smile back, a bit unsure, and head out.

You know she doesn't like you. It's a bit apparent when she turns her head away from you whenever you get close. It stumps you for a little while, but you assume you've just been lucky that none of his exes have given you that treatment. It also makes you feel a bit terrible, because you knew Saeki was somewhat serious about this relationship (hehad asked you what girls wanted for Christmas!), and you grumbling at the sidelines would only put him in an awkward position.

When she calls you out during a break to talk to you, your friend gives you a long look before you get up. You dismiss it, but know Nori-chan was not to be messed with.

It's a bit predictable when you get confronted about how close you are to Saeki, and you try to placate her by assuring her Saeki was interested in _her_, which was _why he was going out with her_. She only gets angrier, and starts accusing you of stealing Saeki from her and seducing him.

You didn't have a personal bone to pick with her, but hearing her speak about Saeki – her boyfriend and _your best friend_ – like that struck a cord.

She's still ranting, and you raise your hand and slap her.

"He's not an object," tears are rolling down your face. "You can't win him by seducing him. He and I are best friends, and I trust him. You should too."

It goes rather silent for a moment, and you can feel yourself tearing up in frustration. Why couldn't she see how serious Saeki was about her?

She gasps, and out of the corner of your eye, you spot Saeki. Knowing he was going to blow up at you – you kind of _slapped his girlfriend_ – you turn to leave, but he catches you in his arms.

"What happened?" he asks, rather calm in the situation.

Nori-chan starts off on a story about how you slapped her because you were jealous of their relationship, and you were getting tired of listening to her. However, Saeki's grip on your arms tightens, and he refuses to let you go.

"I trust Lita," he grits out. "She wouldn't do that."

Your head jerks towards him in surprise. Nori-chan shuts up too, shocked.

"T-that's not fair!" she shouts. "You're _my_ boyfriend! You're supposed to believe me!"

_Ironic,_ you think.

"Not anymore," Saeki replies. "Not if you can't trust me. I told you not to touch Lita."

You're still staring at him, a mixture of surprise and confusion. Somewhere in the silence, Nori-chan leaves, and you're still staring at him.

"Are you alright?" he mutters, running a hand through his hair. "Sorry."

You blink, and your mouth opens and closes without any sound. _Sorry?! Weren't _you_ supposed to be the one apologizing for breaking them up? For their argument?_

He wipes a stray tear that falls down your face. "Lita?"

"Sorry!" you jump away from him, wiping your eyes hastily on your sleeve. "Um, I didn't mean to get you in trouble with her! I know it wasn't my business to step in but she was … she was just talking about you –"

"I know," he chuckled (chuckled? When was it no longer a Saeki laugh and turn into a chuckle?). "I can't believe I missed that part when I dated her."

"But you were serious!" you look at him, a bit panicked about how nicely he was taking this. "You went Christmas shopping with me and everything! And you didn't even get to give her the gift!"

He offers a grin. "Would you like a pair of mittens for Christmas?" he jokes.

You slap his arm and roll your eyes. Suddenly, a thought occurs to you. "I know what to do with them!"

He gives them to you the next day, and you wrap them nicely and put them in Nori-chan's locker with a brief apology note. She comes up to you two days later, much to your surprise, and bows her head, apologizing for the incident. Smiling, you tell her that bygones were bygones and that you didn't really mind anymore, and you were sorry they broke up.

She smiles, a tad bitterly. "I'd always see Saeki-senpai watching you, and I just got really jealous. He never looks at me like that."

You don't know what she means, but she smiles again and excuses herself. Later, you hear that she apologizes to Saeki as well, and you feel like Nori-chan wasn't so bad of a person after all.

_And Saeki watches me, huh?_ You muse, peering behind you to where he sat. You catch his eye, and he grins before turning back to Kurobane. Feeling somewhat self-conscious, you turn back your friends and listen to her story.

* * *

Fuji catches you out of the corner of his eye, leaning against the tennis cages of Seigaku and patiently waiting for the end of practice. Saeki had texted him earlier with an apology that his tennis practice had be rescheduled to Saturday night and wouldn't be able to make it this weekend.

He smiles and drags Tezuka (very subtly, of course) towards you. You've only met Tezuka a handful of times on your Tokyo visits but the two of you get along very well, and Fuji thinks it probably has something to do with the obvious infatuation signals Fuji sends whenever the man is near.

He goes to the counter to grab the drinks, and on his way back, he catches the tail end of your conversation with the man.

"Why do you always watch Fuji, Tezuka-san?" you tilt your head.

Tezuka stares and blinks for a moment. "Do I?" he asks, rather surprised.

You furrow your eyebrows and nod, and Fuji lingers at the counter for a moment, interested in both Tezuka's response and whatever prompted your question.

Tezuka sighs. "In case he lets his guard down, I suppose," he replies. "Anyone with a sharp pair of eyes should be able to spot small differences in behavior."

_Sharp pair of eyes…_ Fuji's eyes open briefly, and suddenly he knows why you're asking Tezuka about this.

You smile at Tezuka. "I'm glad you're looking out for Fuji, Tezuka-san," you tell him.

For the briefest moment, Fuji spots a dash of a flustered Tezuka and wishes he had his camera to capture the moment. Instead, he resorts to crashing in on the conversation and placing the drinks on the table. Tezuka looks rather relieved at the distraction.

The conversation steers towards summer plans, as graduation as passed a few weeks ago. Fuji smiles and glances at Tezuka – for a moment something is passed telepathically between them – and Tezuka politely excuses himself, explaining he had study group meeting coming up.

"That's not nice to chase him away," you chide, and Fuji chuckles.

"I have a few questions for you," he smiles against his drink.

"Regarding…" you quirk an eyebrow.

"Saeki," Fuji watches you blink and realize he's heard your conversation with Tezuka.

"Eavesdropping," you mutter, and he chuckles again.

"When did this start?" he sips his warm drink.

You sigh and tell him about what Nori-chan told you, and about how you manage to catch him gazing at you a few times every day, between classes and breaks and tennis practice. It doesn't bother you – but you were starting to feel a tad embarrassed by this realization.

"Why?" Fuji asks.

Before you realize it, a blush splashes against your face. You bury your face in your hands.

"I don't know," you mutter. "Saeki's always been there, and I thought we were best friends – a tad bit closer than with other people – but not …" you scrunch your nose. "Not like _dating_ or something."

Fuji hums in thought, and silently adds a 'not yet' behind that sentence.

* * *

Of course you two go to the same high school. Saeki always grins when a classmate mutters 'inseparable, those two'. At least, Bane adds in amusement, the two of you aren't in the same class.

The first year goes by as usual – he has tennis club and you have student council. The two of you walk home at times, visiting hills and playgrounds and beaches and maybe even Fuji on the weekends. At the beginning of your second year, the two of you end up in the same homeroom class, much to Bane's amusement and Saeki's delight.

Saeki knows the other boys in the class have their eyes on you too now, so when you run up to him, excitedly describing your new after-school job at the nearby daycare, he quirks a smile when some boy – Wada-kun? – in the corner glares at him.

"They said I was really good with children!" you tell him, explaining how one of the brothers of the children in the playground introduced you to the teachers. "I'll be helping out on the days I don't have student council."

_Good with children … _Saeki smiles and congratulates you, but that scene when you comfort a crying Yuuta flashes before him again and he furrows his eyebrows.

"What's wrong?" you ask, a bit put off by his frown.

He blinks, the memory still floating around. "Nothing," he grins. "Celebration dinner tonight? My house."

You grin. "You're not cooking, are you?"

He rolls his eyes. "No, Kaa-san is. And I only burned a few veges last time," he grumbles.

"And the kitchen towel," you remind him gently before heading back to your seat.

* * *

It's after one of the Saeki-family dinners in your third year of high school when he volunteers to walk you home. You pause on the corner of the street, and he stops next to you, a silent question hanging in the air.

"My mother found someone recently," you tell him quietly.

His eyes widen. "What?"

"He's really nice," you shuffle your feet and sigh. "And I see Kaa-san now on the weekends sometimes, when they both stay at home."

"Are you okay with this?" he asks, still trying to process all of it. He redirects you towards the hill, silently asking you to take a walk with him.

You follow. "I guess," you scrunch your nose. "I can't find anything wrong with him," you sigh again. "Sorry, I didn't mean to burden you with this – I just thought … you're the only one who understands…"

"It's not a burden," he replies quickly. His eyes flicker, and a gentle smile settles. "I'm glad you told me."

"You know, after seeing Kaa-san so happy with someone, I think I'm starting to understand why Tou-san left," you hum softly. "Maybe he didn't love Kaa-san," you murmur. "Maybe love doesn't last."

"It does," Saeki replies firmly, sitting down next to you. "I bet he still does love Michi-kaa-san, and he still loves you, Lita."

You turn towards him, a bit surprised at his insistence. "How do you know?" you reply, skeptical.

His brows furrow for a moment, and his usual grin is gone. "You never forget the people you love," he mutters.

You sit there and watch as he lies down in the grass and stares at the stars.

"What?" he asks, eyes flicker towards you.

"Are you in love?" you ask, tilting your head curiously. A mischievous grin appears at your lips and you crawl over to him. "Who is this unfortunate girl?"

He looks up at you and grins. "Most people say lucky," he replies shortly.

You roll your eyes, pinning his arms down before he can get up. "You're avoiding my question, mister."

Something flickers in his eyes again before the grin comes back. Suddenly, you realize you're on your back with _your_ arms pinned to the side.

"Secret," he murmurs, face so close your noses touch.

For a moment, you lay there a bit dazed. Then, he smirks and you roll your eyes and he gets up.

"We should head back before they think we've gotten kidnapped," he stretches his arms.

You mutter out an agreement. However, your heart twitches when you know that, had you been lovers, he most definitely would have kissed you.

* * *

"I'm in love with Lita."

Fuji almost drops his cup at the sudden declaration. "Good afternoon as well, Saeki," he answers wryly, taking the offered napkin to clean up his spilled drink.

Saeki gives me a teasing grin. "What's with that reaction, Fuji? Is Tezuka not enough for you now?"

Fuji smiles. "Tezuka _satisfies_ me just fine," his tone rather suggestive and amused.

Saeki scrunches his nose. "Too much info," he groans, plugging his ears. "Keep your sex life out of my house."

"You asked," Fuji answers sweetly. "Why the sudden declaration?"

Saeki runs a hand through his hair. "I just realized yesterday," he mutters. "Thought you should know first."

Fuji stares at him for a bit. "Between Lita and me, you really thought _I_ was the one who needed to know first?" he asks, voice just a bit sardonic.

"She finally trusts me," Saeki mutters.

"She's always trusted you," Fuji counters automatically.

Saeki gives him a look.

"You know Lita," Fuji watches the man collapse into the chair across the table. "She's only too careful with what she tells people she cares about," he takes a sip of his warm drink. "Just as careful as you are with her."

Saeki looks up, and Fuji catches a glimpse of annoyance at his accusation. "I'm going to protect her, Fuji," Saeki answers, voice a bit harsher than his normal. Fuji's lips twitch in amusement, but he hides it behind his cup. "I'm not going to force my feelings onto her now."

Fuji smiles. "Do you really think she's not ready?" he asks.

Saeki shoots him another look. "You know we're third years now. Lita and I are going different places for college. Even if she feels the same, I'm not going to let her lose someone she loves again in a few months."

Fuji pauses and looks at the man before him carefully. "You can't protect her forever, Sae," he sighs. "You know Lita trusts you. I think it's about time you trusted her as well."

Saeki looks like he's about to say something, but he closes his mouth and his eyes open wide. "Oh," he manages out softly, and then buries his head in his arms. "Oh," he mutters.

Fuji chuckles and reaches across the table to pat the silver hair. "I'm sure she still loves you," he remarks reassuringly.

Saeki lifts his head up and glares.

* * *

It starts with the little things.

"This way," you grab Saeki's hand and drag him towards the playground. "You've got to help me watch them for a few moments! I promise Nakamura-sensei will be back in a bit!"

As soon as you turn around, you feel him squeeze your hand slightly, and look back, startled. Saeki just grins, completely unabashed and (your brain admits) rather cutely mischievous. The butterflies squirm in your stomach, and you blush.

"What?" you mutter, a bit embarrassed and aware there are little kids watching.

He chuckles. "Perhaps I just missed you today," he replies, and doesn't let go of your hand when you reach the children. "Will you grab dinner with me?"

You roll your eyes, attempting to calm down. "You know I'll never refuse a meal by Saeki-kaa-san."

"No, outside," he clarifies, still watching you. "I have somewhere nice in mind."

You glance down at your casual sweater and jeans, covered haphazardly by an apron. "In this?" you ask, a bit confused.

He chuckles, using his free hand to mess with your hair. "You look fine," he replies with a half-grin. "My treat?" he offers.

You agree, still a little bit surprised, and notice you're still holding his hand. He tilts his head at you, as if asking for your permission, and when you don't pull away, he grins again and turns towards the little Hana-chan and Miko-chan, who are busy playing House and joins in the game.

With a resigned laugh, you join in as well.

Your shift ends in almost half-an-hour, and you shuffle out of the small child-care center with Saeki and towards the beach. He leads you, still holding your hand, and opens the door to the restaurant for you. Dinner goes by smoothly, full of the endless conversations the two of you always have, and after a large, refreshing meal, you prop your head on your hand and grin.

"So what's the occasion?" you ask, letting the waiter take your dessert plate away. "Go on, I know you need a favor," you grin at his mock-hurt expression.

"I can't take you out to eat because I want to?" Saeki asks, amused.

You narrow your eyes. "You've been rather strange today, Saeki. Stranger than usual."

He rolls his eyes. "My treat," his hand grabs the bill before you can even look to split it. "I promised."

"You did," you retreat and go back to staring at him. He lifts his eyes, twinkling in the mixture of the setting sun and flickering candles, and smiles at you. "Are you alright?" you ask, still a bit unsure of what was happening.

His eyes don't leave yours. "I'm fine," he replies, and leads you out of the restaurant. "Walk with me?"

You catch up to him. "Is this a date?" you joke, poking his ribs.

He grins. "Possibly," he replies innocently.

"But you haven't even bought me flowers!" you laugh, running beside him on the beach. "Be a gentleman!" you chide.

He suddenly turns towards you.

"Sae!" you squeak, and he catches your arm before you tumble into him.

"Is that all I'm missing?" he asks, tilting his head.

Surprised by his reply, you stare at him, trying to figure out if he's serious. He hasn't been very subtle with the clues today, but you always walked a fine line with him anyways.

He still has his usual grin, but you can tell he _is _indeed serious by the flicker in his eyes and the way he watches you for a reply. He's still holding your arm, but time stops for a few moments and you're standing there next to this man – no longer the mischievous, innocent child you've always known – and know that he'll always be there to catch you when you fell.

"Yeah," you smile, and watch his expression light up. "I do like roses, you know," you jab.

He chuckles and his hand slides down your arms to grab your hand. You think you're blushing, so you turn your head to watch the sunset, and feel him watching you from the side. He squeezes your hand, fingers interlocking with yours, and stays silent as you watch the sun fall below the sea.

The next day, you come home from the daycare to find him in front of your house with a bouquet of roses.

* * *

Saeki knows he's always been a little jealous of Fuji. Even back in elementary school, you were closer to Fuji because you got to walk the extra three houses down with him every day on the way home. Saeki once stood in front of his house for a few seconds, watching the two of you chatter down the block, and felt a bit left out.

When your father leaves, it is Fuji that first notices your insecurities. He knows you always to go over to Fuji's for dinner too, especially when your house gets too big for you. The fact that Fuji was so damn telepathic also didn't really make him feel any better, because even though Saeki could see the flicker in your smile and the sadness in your eyes sometimes, Fuji was always the one who knew what to say.

Saeki's wanted to ask him for so many years –_Did Fuji like you as well?_ – but Fuji leaves for Tokyo and it was never the right time to ask. Then, when the two of you visit him one day, you are introduced to Tezuka, and immediately _he knows_.

Fuji laughed at him once (actually many times) about all of this, and even six years later Saeki can only give a wry smile whenever the topic comes up. At least now he feels quite a bit better knowing you're going to the same college as Tezuka, because even though he won't be with you, Fuji trusts him and that is enough.

"I'm not that fragile, Sae," you tell him one day.

He turns towards you, surprised. "What?" he manages out.

You give him a half-smile, and gesture at where he's clenching your hand tightly. "I promise I won't disappear," you tease, but your humor goes away at his serious expression.

He continues to watch you. "I'm serious about you, Lita," he replies, rather quietly. "I just …" he sighs. "I just don't know how to protect you."

"Hey," you rest your hand on his. "You've seen me at my weakest, most vulnerable state. I'm stronger now, Sae, because of you," he watches you smile and sees the dancing lights in the background and knows he wouldn't give you up for the world. "I just can't be so dependent on you," you mutter.

Your hand is trembling, so he grabs both of them and brings them to his lips. "I won't let you go," he replies gruffly, not really trusting himself to say something else.

"You don't have to," you reply, shifting so you can look him in the eyes. "I can't promise you anything, but I trust you."

His sharp eyes can see his fear reflected in your eyes – when did he become the weak one? – and is suddenly afraid that he's the one depending on you.

You close your eyes and lean against his chest. His arms circle lazily around you.

"We'll be okay, right?" you ask, a little meekly.

"Yeah," he mumbles into your hair. "I promise."

* * *

Yuuta flops down on the living room couch, ready to close his eyes and rest, when the doorbell rings. Annoyed, he jumps off and opens the door gruffly, ready to shout at whoever was on the other side.

"Yuu-pyon!" you greet, excitedly hugging the young man at the door. "Wow, I haven't seen you in so long!"

Fuji peeks around the corner and catches Saeki's silver hair behind you. "Welcome. You guys are early."

"We heard Yuu-pyon was going to be here!" Saeki grins, patting the younger Fuji on the back.

Yuuta grumbles and mutters something, looking rather embarrassed. Fuji lets you guys in, and Yuuta reluctantly turns off his video games.

"Hey! I wanted to play Mario-Kart," you pout.

He perks up. "You do?"

So the two of you settle down on the couch with Saeki (who was somewhat dragged into this) while Fuji leaves to help out his mother in the kitchen. He hums for a little bit, happily glancing through the window and watching you lean on Saeki and seeing the two of you so content with each other. It was a bit of a relief, especially knowing that Saeki had been so careful around you recently – almost bearing on overprotectiveness.

He sees you get off the couch and join him in the kitchen.

"You okay?" he asks, handing you a bowl for the chips.

You smile. "Yeah. I trust Sae."

Fuji smiles, and catches Saeki get up from the couch out of the corner of his eye. "I can get the rest," he pushes you out of the kitchen. "Go play with Yuuta."

You stare at him for a little bit, and he looks back at you curiously. "Thanks, Syuusuke. For everything."

He chuckles and ruffles your hair. "You're welcome."

You leave for the hallway, and he hears a brief "oh, Sae!" as you bump into the other male. He sees Yuuta get up from the couch in the living room to look for the two of you, and suppresses a grin.

Two seconds later, he hears Yuuta's exclamation – "ewwww, gross!" – as his little brother joins him in the kitchen, looking a little appalled and maybe a tad pale as well.

"Yes?" Fuji smiles.

"T-They…" Yuuta looks at him wide-eyed. "They were _kissing_!"

Fuji laughs, and somewhere deep down, he knows the two of you are going to be just fine.


End file.
